Jacob's Adventure
by Jacob L
Summary: My Adventure in Hyrule! I'm Playing the game when it glitches up, and ganondorf sucks me in! I'll update as i finish the chapters. R&R! Rated T For cussing and some other things soon. In the reviews, You can answer the question at the end of the story.
1. Chapter 1

Jacob's Adventure

Chapter 1: What The Heck?

"Oh yeah, Ganondorf going down! Yeah, just pressing the A-button. Do da do da do….Oh yeah, he's tired, cause he's all weak like…woah….yeah, Jump Attack, Great Spin, Back Slice, Shield Attack, Helm Splitter, Great Spin, Ending Blow…Yes! Oh, Midna is alive, oh! She's the Twilight Princess, but I already know since I've beaten the game like 13 times now, oh!" I screamed as I annoyingly played my favorite video game, The Legend of Zelda, Twilight Princess. I was watching the end of the game movies and cut-scenes, when suddenly, I some something different…

"Not this time!" It was Ganondorf!

"How is that possible?" I yelled. "Mom, come and see this! I've played the game like 20 times and it glitched up! And…oh, I forgot." Yeah, I did 'forgot'. I forgot that my mom wasn't home, and she took my younger siblings with her to do the shopping, so it was me, just me, her oldest child, Jacob. That was the reason no one told me to shut up. I was still shocked. Just as Link was about to get stabbed, I yelled, "No! What is it with this glitch thing? Now Link dies? You're kidding me, right? Don't tell me I'll have to start all over! I mean it! That was such a demand that the exclamation mark does not change the imperative to an exclamatory sentence! I am not even kidding you, Nintendo! I know where Satoru Iwata lives!" I yelled, starting one of my 'nerd rants'.

"Huh?" Ganondorf said. "You, the player! I have you now!" I don't know how it was possible to this very day, but he opened up an 'energy portal' and pushed it out of my TV!

"Oh shit!" I yelled. I tried to escape, but I couldn't get away.

"Yes!" Ganondorf yelled. When Link and Zelda realized the strange thing that was happening, they grabbed their swords and ran over to Ganon, ready to hit. But it was too late. I was in. But that didn't stop them.

"Stay to my left." He said to Zelda. "Jacob, you stay to my right." He said to me.

"You know my name?" I said.

"Yes. It's a long story, but I'm sure we can both agree that the explaining for such an unimportant thing can wait till later?" he finished.

"I do believe so." I replied.

"Here, take the Ordon Sword!"

"Gotcha." Link then gave it to me, and I was extremely excited. I just got pulled into my video game and now I was going to fight Ganondorf alongside Link, The Hero of Time, and Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. Let's see…that, or slushies at Meijer….This. Definitely, this.

"I've seen your moves Link. I think I can pull a few off." I said.

"Oh yeah? Which one?"

"Well, I'll start with this one." I ran faster, jumped in the air, kicked Ganondorf in the face, chopped down his front when I came down, did a spin attack with my legs, thus tripping him, and then just slashed at him like crazy. I got careless though, and he cut my up my left arm. At least it was my left arm, because I'm right hand dominant. I screamed in pain. Good thing Link and Princess Zelda were there, or Ganondorf would have just ended my life. I think I had just received my own health level thingy. And, it was pretty much out.

"Damn…" I cursed in pain. Then, I realized it may be a grand offense to curse in front of the princess, but Zelda didn't seem so angry.

Link was busy fighting off Ganondorf while Princess Zelda gave me a blue potion. Wowzuh, it really did give me energy.

"Princess Zelda, do these potions usually prevent cramps?" I asked.

Princess Zelda was curious about why I would ask that but answered, "Yes, they do. Why?"

"I'll need to take one of these suckers before a cross country race." I said. And it's true. I do in fact run cross country, and in the last season won 2 medals. I ran at Ganondorf with my sword ready. Zelda decided to use her bow and some of the light arrows first. Link slashed, I slashed, and Princess Zelda shot an arrow. When he felt all three, Ganondorf screamed. He hit the ground. Link, Princess Zelda, and me too, all attempted an Ending Blow on him. Attempt successful. Ganondorf was finally dead.

"Well, that was fun, but I need to go back through the portal and go home. Mom will bring me back a slushie, so…No!" I yelled in terror. The portal was closing! Link knew how important this was, so he got down on his hands and knees. I ran, jumped on and took a flying leap off of him, and I was flying towards the closing portal.

(Picture the following in slow motion)

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I screamed as I flew towards the portal. Too late. It closed and I hit the ground! I was stuck here!

"Oww…." I then passed out from the pain I was in from the slash and falling 12 feet.

"Oh boy, Princess. We're going to have some problems now. This kid knows nothing about what Hyrule is like on the inside, and now he's going to be walking all over it. Nice."

"Yes, this bad. A_ player_ in the game? How will we fix this?" Princess Zelda said, worried.

"All we can do is try, Princess."


	2. Chapter 2

Jacob's Adventure

Chapter 2

I woke up to Princess Zelda and Link shooting their bows at something. I had no idea how this stuff was happening. I'll I knew is I just wanted to get a Cherry Fanta Slushie from Meijer. Those things are good.

"What the heck are you two doing target practice for? And…why am I still in Hyrule? And why did you get on your hands and knees for me? And why was I able to take that big of a flying leap? And how was I able to pull of your moves so easily even though I know what moves you make? And why did you know I was thinking you do that so I could take that (I still don't know how I leaped that high or far) flying leap ten feet in the air and go back through the portal to go home and not ask questions because I just want to go home and drink a slushie?" I was scared now. I then realized though, of all the video games for me to be stuck in, it was the one in the medieval age, The Legend of Zelda! Then I stopped my rage of worry and turned into a rage of happiness and crazy person laughter, as if Tallahassee (From Zombieland) had just found a million Twinkies.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! YES!" I shouted. Then I forgot that Link and Princess Zelda were excellent archers and didn't need target practice. And they seemed frantic, too. "Wait a second….we're in Hyrule field…in Twilight Princess….Doesn't that mean we get chased by Gerudos on giant Boars? Oh shit." I got up, grabbed the Ordon Sword, turned around, and ran for my life. Although I still forgot that Link and Zelda weren't having some target practice session, I didn't want to take the chance that I would get crushed by a giant evil pig. I was also forgetting the boars couldn't turn effectively, and so it would be easy to kill them. But I had so many thoughts running through my head. Like, all of the ones I listed in paragraph 1, sentences 1 and 2. I really just was extremely confused and it was as if I was falling into hell, only to land on a trampoline and bounce all the way up to heaven, and then fall again. I just decided it would be best to keep running and worry about the confusion later. Meanwhile…

"Eack!" A gerudo fell on the ground as one of Link's arrows pierced it. He did the ending blow to be sure it was dead. (Double Tap.)

"How do you like that?" Link said. "That's the last of them. Phew." But then he looked behind himself. "Where's Jacob?"

"Oh boy. Now he's confused AND lost." Princess Zelda said. Then she sighed.

Author's Note: Yeah, I'm confused. Had to ask those questions. (Hey, someone asked those questions to me in a review, so I had to make things less…awkward.) Sorry for those two Zombieland quotes, I watched it for the first time yesterday night, and as I expected, BEST MOVIE EVER! Also, I know what I'm going to do at the end of each chapter- ask something for you to add to your reviews!

'Review Bonus Topic'- Based on the whole Zombieland thing. "Is your favorite movie Zombieland?" 'Agree' if so, and if not, 'disagree' and put your favorite movie. Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Jacob's Adventure

Chapter 3

When they caught up to me, Link and Zelda were sweating. I was the one who was running, they were lazily riding Epona! And I wasn't even breaking a sweat!

_Hm. I'm usually sweating like a pig on a spit in a cross country race by now. Oh well, I think when I reach Castle Town I'll see what kind of candy they had back then in the medieval age._

They finally caught up to me near the East Exit/Entrance to Hyrule Castle Town. I heard Epona's hooves, and then got even more paranoid believing they were still being chased. "Crap don't kill me!" I yelled. Link stood up on Epona (amazingly not loosing his balance and falling off) and jumped. He tackled me to the ground, and all I could do was say, "Ouch."

"Wow. This kid is fast." Link said.

"How can you tell?" Princess Zelda asked.

"He outran us on Epona for three minutes."

"He _did _have a head-start." Zelda replied.

"Yeah, but Epona still would have caught up."

"Excuse me, but will you please get off of me?" I asked, now felling much pain in my chest. I am pretty thin and scrawny. (Ashamed feeling)

"Oh, sorry." Link said. He got off of me and then gave Epona a pat, then helping Princess Zelda down.

"Now, may I have some of my questions answered?" I asked as I got up.

"Sure. Ask away." Link said.

"Good. First, how do you two know my name?"

"Long and boring story about other video game files and names and all sorts of other things. Also more simply, a 'connection' is made between the player and the video game." Link answered.

Confused, I answered, "Oh really?"

"Yeah." Link replied. "Would you like to know how Blue Toad and Luigi felt when you kept throwing them off of cliffs in New Super Mario Bros Wii?" Link finished.

"How do you know about that?" I asked.

"The same way we know your name."

"Well, another thing. Why did you, the Hero of Time get on your hands and knees for me?" I asked.

"For one, don't phrase it like that. Second, I knew things would get complicated if you didn't get back through that portal back to your living room. And three, I know what you were thinking the same way I know your name."

"Ok. Then one last thing…"

"Yes?"

"How was I able to jump that high to kick Ganondorf in the face _and _do all of those moves?"

"I don't know. The moves, well, you have a health bar now, you know, all those hearts. May as well be me. I don't know. As for you jumping high…well, I survive 500 foot drops, so, why not jump a few feet higher? I still don't know."

"Oh. Well, I really just want a slushie! So can we figure out a way to get me home?" I asked.

"Um, well…." Princess Zelda started.

"You see…" Link continued.

"I'm screwed?"

"Um, yeah. Let's go with that." Link said.

"Oh God."

"Not anymore. It's Goddesses."

"Right."

"And you need to ditch those clothes."

"Aw…"

"And you need to learn to live like a Hylian…"

"Fine…"

"And you need to make sure no one finds out that you're from outside Hyrule."

"Ok! Ok! A whole bunch of rules that I now need to follow cause I'm stuck in a frickin video game! I know! Goddesses!"

"See, your getting it already!" Link commented. "What can possibly go wrong?"

"Damn it Link, don't you know that when you say that, things go wrong?"

"…."

"Sorry, I need to get some rest. I feel like I have a 'Metabolism Hangover.'"

"It's ok. You just go get that rest." Princess Zelda said.

"Ok. By the way, does that mean I have to get rid of this extremely awesome copy of Zombieland?"

"Is it from Hyrule?" Princess Zelda asked.

"No."

"Then yes." Link answered.

"Damn. Forgive me Tallahassee!"(Fading Echo)

Author's Note: I think I'm going to keep it up with the Zombieland stuff. The 'Metabolism Hangover' Is what actually happened to my brother yesterday! It was so funny! He and my younger sister stayed the night at his friend's house on Saturday. They Stayed up all night watching Inappropriate movies till 6:00A.M.! They slept for 2 hours. We picked him up at about 1:00 P.M. yesterday. We went to our Grandma's house after that, and he went right in the living room to sleep on the couch! I went to the bathroom and while I was in there I heard that he had woken up. He was fighting my mom to go to the bathroom…in a bedroom! I hurried out of the bathroom to try and help mom fight him back, and then she pushed him in the bathroom. She was talking to him through the door to make sure he was fine, because he seemed like he was drunk. When he came out, he woke up and said he had no memory of what just took place! He fought my mom to take a dump in a bedroom, and he didn't remember it! You should have been there! Hahahahaha! It was priceless! Well, continuing about the story, what will happen next? Well, bad stuff _is _going to happen, so, I think I'd better practice eating cuckoos…. Now, where can I get a cuckoo in the real world? Hm, I think I'll go to a farm and slaughter a chicken. Screw the trespassing, I'M FRICKIN HUNGRY!

'Review Bonus Topic'- Should I make my character seem like a smart person who does stupid things? Because that's me in real life. I'm not even kidding, I'm a genius who does stupid things. So, What do you think?


	4. Chapter 4

Jacob's Adventure

Chapter 4

"Ahh…." I woke up in Hyrule Castle, not surprised anymore. I smacked my lips together in an attempt to get rid of that awful morning taste, but no luck. I also did it because I was hungry…

"Hm…I eat so much, yet I'm skinnier than a pencil! Oh well, I'll just go down in the grand hall and tell everybody that I'm hungry. I'm a friend of the Princess of Hyrule, so that means _someone's _going to do things for me that I don't want to, right? Like make me breakfast? Hm…I'll have some scrambled eggs this morning." And so I walked downstairs into the grand hall. No one was there!

"Why isn't there anyone in here to make my breakfast?"

"Well, because you got up at 5:35 in the morning, that's why." Came a voice. I quickly recognized it as Link's.

"Aw, you're kidding me!" I had terrible sleeping habits, and I hoped those would change since I'm in Hyrule. They obviously didn't.

"You know, it helps to blow out the candles next to your bed. That way there's no bright light to irritate you."

"Yeah, I know. But I sleep with a luminous goldfish."

"You sleep with a fish that glows? How did you get it to do that?"

"With great difficulty. I'll tell you how, though. First, by one fish for every different brand of fish flakes and canister of non-toxic neon that you have, along with it's own transparent glass bowl. Carefully place extremely small amounts of neon on each individual flake. Feed them to the fish for 1 month. Observe and record observations. Your experiment is a success depending on whether or not your fishes live long enough for you to find out if the neon-coated fish food makes them bioluminescent or not."

"….."

"That's it. Simple, right?"

"….O…..K….." Link slowly responded.

"So, when's breakfast?"

"At 7:00 to 9:00."

"So why are you down here so early?"

"Oh. To play my Ocarina."

"Hey, can you teach me some songs? I don't have an ocarina anyways, but….yeah."

"Sure. I can get you your own ocarina in an instant."

"Awesome."

"But there's a catch."

"What? Awe, you're with State Farm, aren't you? Is this some scandal so that you can say 'Nationwide is on your side' or 'Nationpam is on your sam' or whatever it is? Really? No, fuck you people. I thought you would get the point when I pulled the Peggy joke last time you called!" I said. Or more rather, exclaimed.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Chill, not that kind of catch. Like a deal. Sheesh."

"What?"

"I teach you how to play the Ocarina, _and_ get you your own Ocarina, and you have to teach me how to make a glow in the dark fish."

"I'm no good at fishing, but I think everything else will turn out fine."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

So Link and I shook hands. We had a deal.

"So, when again is breakfast?"

Author's Note: Hahaha! I have the bioluminescent goldfish thing from the Bi Bang Theory and that's what time Jacob got up this morning. Aka, me. So, two things. Well anyways, to the 'Review Bonus Topic'.

'Review Bonus Topic'- Do you like the Big Bang Theory, or have you never watched it?


End file.
